Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
