Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
