Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Everything about him screamed your future.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
