new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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