Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
