Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
