I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
