I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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