I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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