Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
they're like a gay fantastic four
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Mom said you looked used
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
