Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(707): View more from California

Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?

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(318): View more from Louisiana

Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.

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(415): View more from California

if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.

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(614): View more from Ohio

This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!

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(301): View more from Maryland

When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?

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(860): View more from Connecticut

people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids

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(702): View more from Nevada

You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.

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(815): View more from Illinois

I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.

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