i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
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