1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
