I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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