you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
