she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
