On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
