can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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