Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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