wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
A bitchslap is in order.
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