I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
