She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
