I wannas sexs uuuuu
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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