Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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