I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
