I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
