Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
