i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
