Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize