Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
