I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
