Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
