I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Randomize
