I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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