it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
