Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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