How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize