No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
