Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I know her cup size but not her name....
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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