ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
