I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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