I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
