When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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