i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
