office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
