Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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