Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Randomize
