The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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