the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
