Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
